


Codeine

by violetjosh



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Casual Sex, Consent Issues, Hypersexuality, M/M, Mental Illness, Recreational Drug Use, Strangers to Lovers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-02-18 18:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13106337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetjosh/pseuds/violetjosh
Summary: Tyler didn't know what hypersexual meant until he met Josh.





	1. Chapter 1

The asphalt burns his feet, it's scorching, Tyler swears he can physically see the heat as he pauses in the middle of his small and cracked driveway. His toes curl and he watches as a piece of nail polish comes free from his toe nail. 

He's only wearing shorts, they reach the middle of his thighs, sticking to his leg hairs, he's still much too warm. The sun is unforgiving today.

He debates taking out the hose and blasting himself with cold water.

Instead, to save his feet, he's walking on his lawn instead, that is surprisingly not dry, it's green and covered in weeds. He hasn't put in the effort to trim it in a while. There's no shade either, just dry heat and he has the urge to run back inside into a mostly air conditioned house but he needs to retrieve his package from the mailbox before Ashley gets home and does it herself. Not because he's embarrassed.

Unlike every other small house on the block their mailbox is all the way at the end of their driveway instead of being right beside the front door, right now this is a hassle as Tyler hurries down the lawn, squishing dandelions along the way.

He touches his mailbox, metal burns his fingers tips, he whispers. " _Fucking_ finally." As he works at opening it and then pulls out a box he's been waiting for, for a few weeks now. He's not sure how he's survived so long without it.

Tyler hugs it to his chest, he smiles. It’s childish but getting packages in the mail make him happy, especially packages like this. 

Across the street, in the driveway of a small house much like his own is a red pickup truck that's falling apart. It's complimentary to the house and Tyler frowns.

And Tyler stares and hugs the box tighter, he wasn't aware that he had a new neighbour at all. The house has been vacant for months ever since their last neighbour left, along with all the cookies she would make him. She would constantly invite Ashley and him over for dinner when they first moved in, all the way to when she herself moved out. It was appreciated, Tyler can barely cook and Ashley is no better. But then she left to a retirement home and now someone is living in her house.

Maybe he's just curious in nature, he knows he is, which is why he tries to look inside the living room window, from where he's standing he can't see shit. So he leans to the left, his hand becoming an inefficient way to block sun as he brings it up over his eyebrows.

He has to squint to see anything at all, he might need glasses.

The living room curtains are wide open and he can't help but look at the given chance.

He sees them before he understands the situation, he sees someone naked which would be understandable because of the heat, but they aren't just naked because of weather circumstances. They're naked because they aren't alone and they aren't moving the way they are for no reason.

Tyler's cheeks go red, he's already warm all over but he can feel all of that warmth rush to his cheeks, they're the colours of cherries.

Although it's wrong he doesn't look away, he gets closer, end of his property as he stares across the street. There isn't a couch and now that he can see more, there's someone against the window, legs wrapped around whoever's fucking them.

Tyler shudders and looks away. How is he supposed to introduce himself to his new neighbours while he's seen that? Maybe he can pretend they're non-existent but that would be rude, and Tyler's a nice guy.

He hopes next time they'll close the curtains and runs back to his house.

 

*

When Ashley's home, Tyler has hidden his package in his closet underneath a pile of dirty clothes that Ashley would never dare touch.

When Ashley's home, Tyler has taken off his shorts and instead opted for striped boxer briefs that hang off of his hip bones just right along with a joint snug in between his too chapped lips.

She comes home with a pizza box and a basketball cap smashed over her blue hair that she hadn't been wearing when she'd left this morning. He doesn't bother asking, instead he smiles and makes hands towards the food.

The pizza box is disposed on the coffee table, far away from him and his joint is snatched from between his lips and placed into her softer ones. Ashley smells like cheap perfume and cigarettes, an aroma Tyler has come to love.

She smiles. "Thanks." And sits down, throwing her hat off towards the TV. It ends up on the floor, it's rolls.

Too pre-occupied with pizza to care about his joint, Tyler, he leans forward and sets the box in his lap, mouth watering as heat fogs up his vision.

Ashley's arm is flung over her eyes, she's one with the couch now, won't be moving until she has too. "I really hate people."

Tyler nods and starts eating a slice with pineapple on it. "Can i have my-"

Ashley takes a long hit, coughing. "This girl had a makeup appointment and fucking showed up late." She shuts her eyes. "I was nice about it, didn't charge her extra for making me waste my time. After I finished she told me to wipe it all off for her because she wasn't going to pay."

She looks at him, Tyler licks pizza sauce off his thumb. "Do you know how long it took me to do her makeup?"

Tyler then wipes his hands off on the couch,  grabs the joint back from Ashley, settles it between his fingers and takes a bite of pizza and he says. "No." That's what Ashley wants him to say.

She sighs. "At least an hour, I spent part of my lunch break doing her makeup. I've never wanted to quit Sephora more."

"I told you the moment you applied that you'd hate it there."

"It's only bad sometimes." Which is a lie Tyler hears every time Ashley complains about work, which is everyday.

Tyler studies the drug in between his fingers as he speaks, changing the subject, he honestly doesn't care as much as she thinks he does. "I think we have a new neighbour." He wonders if Ashley has met them yet, due to poor communication he wouldn't know.

Ashley tears a slice away from the pizza, cheese sliding off, she picks up the cheese and slides it back onto the dough. "No shit, I saw him the other day."

Tyler's brow raises naturally. "When?"

"Does it matter?"

Tyler wants to say yes, because he's nosy and wants to know everything about them already. Instead he shrugs in disinterest. "Guess not."

Ashley scarfs down the rest of her pizza in one bite, pizza sauce lands on her shirt and sticks to the corners of her lips. "Can you grab me a coke?"

Tyler gets up. "We're they weird?"

Ashley groans. "Who knows."

*

They resume their routine.

Ashley works long crappy shifts.

Tyler works shorter crappy shifts.

They ignore what's happening across the street.

Then complain to each other about work.

It works and after living together for two years they should know that.

*

" _Shit_." Is the first thing Ashley says when she gets home today. Tyler's on the floor, high as a kite.

He hears her but doesn't feel his body, moving feels weird. His eyes stay closed until Ashley is leaning over him, Tyler just stares at her blankly, she's upside down for him right now.

She says. "Our neighbour is fucking crazy." And walks over to their bay window.

Tyler furrows his eyebrows and forces himself to sit up, the carpet is softer than usual right now, moving feels weird.

He rolls and rolls and rolls until he hits the wall with his body and Ashley. She helps him up, his head is dizzy.

Peeking out through their own living room window, long fingers pushing their ugly blinds upwards. They have those weird plastic ones, shutters. Tyler's always hated them, now more than ever.

"He's watching porn on his TV."

"With the curtains open." Tyler says, he can clearly see the flat screen TV on the wall. His last neighbour used to have a huge clock shaped like a cat there. Right now from what he can see there's a man jerking himself off on screen.

Ashley looks away. "With the fucking curtains open."

Tyler doesn't look away, he sees curly brown hair and an exposed back. Nothing else, the man has a couch now, obscuring the view of living room, the couch is a barricade of the nice view he'd imagine he'd have and the porn isn't anything that could get him aroused.

"Anyone who walks by is gonna see that."

She sighs, picking at her lip with her teeth. Shell do it until she's bleeding and Tyler will offer her his lip balm. "Should we say anything?"

Tyler debates agreeing, but for some impulsive reason he shakes his head and touches her shoulder. "Nah, it's not a big deal."

He glances out the window again. "I'll talk to him at some point, if it actually starts to bother us."

"I'm not bothered, it's not our problem."

 

*

Tyler doesn't want to admit how many times he has now seen his neighbour, or who he's been told is his neighbour naked.

It's been two weeks since the first time.

He's not trying either, he just leaves early enough for work that he catches a glance of what's going on across the street, the living room seemingly a prime area for action. This man is never alone, and Tyler thinks he's insatiable, no one satisfying his abnormal libido.

The thought crosses his mind more than once that maybe he could satisfy.

He has no preference to gender, he likes people and his neighbour is a person who he thinks he might like or atleast, he could like. It’s selfish, there’s no question about wether or not it isn’t. 

*

When he gets to work and places a unsweetened coffee on his boss's desk that he wishes he had the guts to spit in, he's still thinking about his neighbour.

His job is boring enough that he has the time to think about these things.

He sits around all day, spins in his chair until he gets dizzy and he organizes his bosses schedule. He's a shitty employee, really he's not amazing, he's a sorry excuse for an assistant but somehow he hasn't been fired. Maybe because they know no one will take such a underpaid job for such an awful man, Tyler was solely hired because he was the only one to accept the salary they were offering.

It's always boring there,no exceptions, he usually does have a substantial amount of work to do, which he does do and messes up on purpose. A push of boundaries.

His boss calls him in with snappy fingers one day, his face red. "Fix this you dumbass, you printed off last years income, we need this years."

Tyler nearly laughed. "Right away."

He brings back the right papers but makes sure to let a drop of coffee slip onto the crisp first page.

He never gets fired.

*

His home life is boring enough that if Ashley isn't home he'll just masturbate to pass the time and as he strokes his cock or manages the courage to cut open that package he'd ordered, he'll look out of his bedroom window as subtly as possible, look for his neighbour just because he can.

He wants to see him, meet him and see if his personality squares up to the amount of sex he's been having, the amount of sex Tyler has witnessed him having.

Tyler thinks that if his neighbour ever saw him masturbating he'd be rewarded instead of ignored.

He feels perverted. He is perverted. 

Especially when he comes home one evening and makes sure to look through the window. Nearly a second instinct to check. That night the curtains are closed though and Tyler albeit confused gets inside and steals Ashley's bong from her bedroom while she's passed out on the couch with a blanket his grandma had knitted for him wrapped around her.

*

The first time Tyler sees him in a context that doesn't involve arousal is at 6AM on a Tuesday. The only reason he's awake is because he has an early shift.

He's sitting by the window, eyes closed, forehead sticking to the glass with a thin layer of sweat.

It's still hot, the weather hasn't been anything but scathing as of late.

When he hears a door slam outside he's awake.

Tyler quickly looks outside to see none other than his neighbour guiding what is presumably his bike down the driveway.


	2. Chapter 2

 

At work Tyler shifts his weight from side to side on his chair, it groans, squeaks and when he spins he can feel himself almost fall off.

He's not doing actual work if anything he's goofing off, unable to draw any concentration to organize his boss's timetable.

Working in an office building is boring, no matter how big of a company this is. It's boring as all hell even when he has actual work to do, there's nothing interesting about his job other than the gossip that scurries around the office every once and a while.

The gossip isn't even good. The most interesting things he hears about are all the sex scandals.

Whenever his boss passes by his sad excuse for an office cubicle he pretends to work, really whenever he hears really angry footsteps he reacts. Fingertips immediately meeting his keyboard so he looks busy.

Today he does this even though he knows it isn't his boss, even though it sounds more like heels on carpet. He pulls himself over to his desk when there's a soft knock on his desk.

It's a girl, her voice is sweet. "Hey Tyler, do you want to come out for lunch with us?"

Tyler, in relief, sighs. It's just Jenna, an unpaid intern who's been working her way into an actual job position by flirting with the big boss. He smiles at her, spinning his chair around to look at her.

"Who's us?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at her. Jenna sighs, leaning against his desk, long legs crossing.

"Brendon and I."

Brendon isn't Tyler's favourite person, he's obnoxious and loud but Tyler can tolerate him.

He rolls his chair backwards. "Uh-yeah sure."

*

Ashley's fingers tap along his spine when he gets home, she's gentle and she presses just hard enough when she finds a knot along his back or neck.

He's not tense anymore, Tyler hasn't been tense in a while, yet Ashley still offers him massages.

He would never turn down a free massage, especially because she's certified.

Her hands are covered in oil as are his back, shoulders and neck. He's sure that if they went outside his sweat would be able to compensate as oil.

Tyler sighs and curls his toes into the couch when she works on his neck for a second time, he's sure he feels something crack. "That hurts."

"You have a shit pain tolerance." Her thumb brushes over his shoulder, swiping oil downwards. "Just incase you forgot"

Oil drips, rolls down his waist and onto an off white towel that's been turned into a couch cover for the time being. It's there because stray oil is gross to clean up, but the oil makes everything better so he allows the couch to be stained and allows towels to be ruined for the time being.

The couch itself, It needs a deep clean. They can afford it, they both talk about even getting a new couch. It never happens, Tyler knows the couch wouldn't stay clean for long anyways.

Ashley's hands work down the muscles of his back, slowly, maybe a bit sensually. This should be considered something very intimate but Tyler doesn't see it that way as Ashley's pours more oil onto his back.

"Ty." She whispers, blue hair gets in his face, small strands clinging to his skin. She does this when she wants something, her hands touch his shoulders, her fingers drag down his back, he shivers, nearly convulses underneath her.

"It's been a while." She says next, Tyler's aware of this, Tyler feels warm.

And Tyler's nodding as Ashley sits on his back, letting him hold all of her weight as her hands crawl up his spine.

"Are you still seeing that guy?" He says, voice raspy, he needs to sleep.

She licks her lips, . "Nah." He puts in the effort to turn to look at her, raising an eyebrow at her, in disbelief, she cracks a smile. "Not right now anyways." Tyler hides his face in the couch.

"You don't need to worry about him, he won't touch you."

Tyler groans and works at turning around, Ashley lifting her weight off of him to allow him to properly do so. He shifts so he's on his back, oil is everywhere and as Ashley sits on his hips this time around and plants her hands on his chest he wants her to be covered in oil too.

She looks tired, maybe exhausted, more than he is that's for sure. Between still being stuck in college and working at sephora, she's never home and overworks herself. She needs this.

And Tyler stills thinks she's beautiful.

Sex is something that used to be more about love than anything for him, sometime over the past few years that's changed. And so has his relationship with Ashley, they aren't dating but they have sex sometimes and right now seems to be one of those times.

Suggestively Ashley rolls her hips, suggestively Ashley leans down and presses a kiss to his jaw. "Do you think it would be dumb to-"

Tyler smiles as her thumbs rub over his nipples. "In front of the window?"

"Would it bother you?" She asks. Tyler weighs his options before kissing her knuckles and shaking his head.

Slowly Ashley helps him up from the couch, pulling him up with her. With slight reluctance to move Tyler obliges, he needs this just as much as she does and whose to say they can't dabble into slight exhibitionism to keep things interesting.

Tyler tries to pretend that they aren't just doing this to spite their neighbour.

She backs him up, every step forward for her means one step backwards for him and he allows it, allows her thin fingers to take control and push him.

She cracks an innocent smile and Tyler squints his eyes suspiciously as she falls to her knees, blue hair whisking down with her.

Ashley against their living room window, he kisses her and holds her hair back and Ashley's skirt flies up and panties fall down. It's sloppy, they're messy together, spit connecting their lips, not really the best match but that doesn't stop them from going at each other. That doesn't stop Ashley from leaving hickeys on his neck, and that doesn't stop Tyler from slapping her ass.

Lasting long isn't the goal, it never is and as Ashley lets go of her tight grip around him and Tyler pants, still breathless he feels satisfied.

He feels safe with Ashley, Ashley is his best friend. He loves her.

"Do you think he saw?" Tyler asks as Ashley sits down on the couch with a gentle sigh as she adjusts her clothes. He feels some level of pride for just having done that.

Ashley glances out the window. "Who cares."

Tyler hates that he does. He just wants to see the guy.

*

He avoids looking at his neighbours windows most mornings now.

He feels a sense of embarrassment now, scared that yeah he actually did see him and Ashley.

So he stops his routine check ups through his window albeit the piqued curiosity he has to do so.

*

He starts eating lunch with Brendon and a Jenna everyday.

Brendon pays for everything. "It's my treat." He says it carefully, Tyler purses his lips and smiles.

"Thank you dude, seriously."

His smile doesn't seem sincere. "Yeah no problem."

*

Tyler lies on their lawn with a pack of cigarettes on his chest and a book covering his eyes.

The book hasn't been read, he just couldn't find sunglasses and it acts as protection just as well as they could, maybe ever better.

He finds relief in the damp grass, compared to the warmth it's really nice. His toes curl and he can feel the morning dew creeping up the strands of grass to his strands of hair. It's nice.

The suns still rising and Tyler's expecting his neighbour to be awake because now he knows his schedule. He feels creepy and after a week of trying to pretend like they aren't neighbours Tyler gives up.

This is probably creepier, he's waiting. He's laying and every few minutes he's glancing across the street with hope. It's like waiting for the mail to come except less predictable.

He can't say he's ever done anything like this though. Ashley definitely has, that's how they became friends. This was before they moved in together, this was when they were both in college dorm rooms and Ashley would wait for him in the hallways because she thought he was cute.

This is creepier, maybe. Tyler feels like a stalker, he doesn't think he is though.

But he knows, Tyler knows he goes running or biking around this time every morning and Tyler wants an excuse to meet him. This is it, no matter how creepy. It feels more natural than knocking on his door.

It ends up working. His neighbour stares at him from across the road before walking over politely with his hands in his pocket.

"What're you doing?"

And then. "Hey, are you alright?"

It scares Tyler. He jumps, his body tremors.

And Tyler removes the book from over his eyes and squints. From up close Tyler can count freckles and get lost in dark eyes and long limbs. He's in gym clothes, he's already sweating. Tyler understands. His brown hair is curling, it's wet.

The sun is blinding behind his neighbour. "Hi, I've never seen you before." He says this eventually, there's too long eye contact before he speaks. And when he does speak it's carefully, Tyler wants to come across as honest. An honest start to their relationship.

He glances behind him before looking back at Tyler. "I live right across the street."

Tyler sits up straight and then leans back his hands turned to his house as he holds his weight and stares up at his neighbour. He smiles, feigns a lie. "Really? Shit, I'm an awful neighbour."

"I'm Josh." He says worry for Tyler forgotten. His smile is blinding as he reaches a hand down to shake Tyler's. Tyler's hand reaches his halfway, it's awkward. Tyler has to move closer to reach his hand. Tyler hopes his hand is clean.

He realizes he still hasn't introduced himself when Josh pulls away, eyebrows both raised.

Tyler corrects himself, Tyler says. "I'm Tyler, I live with my roommate Ashley. You'll meet her at some point." He smiles, pushing hair out of his face. "Probably."

Whatever nerves he'd felt are gone now, Josh is crouching down to be on his level. Tyler forgets to breathe as Josh tilts his sun glasses down over his eyes and sits down across from him.

Josh is nodding. "Definitely, you guys should come over sometime. It would be nice to have friends around here, that are more or less my age."

Tyler understands, Josh isn't wrong. Their neighbourhood is old, no one ever moves out. He tilts his head, a welcoming, comfortable gesture. "A lot of old people live around here."

"Yeah," Josh says.

Tyler has too many questions. "Do you live alone?"

"Yeah, Im not too fond of people."

Tyler smiles, he doesn't believe him. though There's more silence, quiet. There's no traffic on their street. No one is up at this hour. "Understandable, are you out this early for work?"

He shakes his head. "Nah, just uh-" he glances around. "Doing my morning run, really starts my day you know."

Tyler doesn't know but he nods anyways. "Yeah, i'm just out here... resting."

Josh grins. "I can see that."

He gets up. "Ive gotta go, but you and your roommate should definitely come over. I'll make dinner or something."

Tyler smiles. "Cool, just let me know. Send me a letter or somethin' i've got a mailbox."

Josh sends him a thumbs up before sliding on headphones and starting a light jog down the street.

  
*

When Ashley gets home Tyler can't stop thinking of Josh.

When Ashley gets home she doesn't have hair, Tyler has lost his train of though.

"Your hair." He says as she rushes past him and drops her purse to the floor. This isn't the first time she's shaved her head but it's certainly the first time he's witnessed it.

"It's gone," Pointing out the obvious is inevitable. He leans against the doorframe, she's frantic.

"Why?" He asks.

Ashley pulls off her work clothes in their front entrance, dress slipping off as she grabs one of Tyler's sweaters off the coat rack. She steals his clothes a lot. She stares at him. "Because I felt like it,"

Tyler nods. He doesn't understand but it's fine.

"Want to help me bleach it?" She asks as she picks up her purse again and starts walking away. Tyler follows her into the bathroom, something happened. Tyler has no idea what. He doesn't press the subject right now, he'll ask her later.

"You're over the blue?" He asks curiously. Ashley's hair has been blue for 3 years now. He'd thought she'd never change it.

"Yeah."

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Lounging on his lawn, Tyler stretches. Arms above his head, sunglasses sliding off the tip of his nose in the process. He looks for Josh like he always does, head tilting, eyes squinting at every chance he gets to look through that damn window. 

It's still without curtains, blinds, well he has them, he's just not using them. There isn't any privacy and Tyler doesn't understand. Maybe Josh wants to be seen, that might be why. Or maybe he just hasn't had time to buy them, or maybe he simply doesn't care about his neighbours looking in on his personal activities. He's shameless, careless, confident. 

And Tyler hopes he's aware they could definitely report him. He isn't sure what he'd say, "My neighbour keeps having sex with his blinds open and it's ruining my life and I might be a little obsessed with him." or maybe he could just call the police. He has no clue what step to takes in this case if he's being honest and he's much too lazy to check. 

He also hopes Josh is aware that he never would. Josh is his new source of entertainment, he doesn't want to lose him. He's also invited them over to dinner and Tyler can't report him before that happens. 

Tyler had honestly hoped that Ashley would ditch him and let him go alone but he's got the suspicion that, that isn't going to happen. 

Yet, before Tyler can force himself over across the street to Josh's and ask about dinner he sees Josh naked one last time. "For fucks sake." He says to himself the moment his eyes gaze outside and go straight to that stupid house right across from his. 

It's hard to not look and his body betrays him at the sight of collarbones and a toned stomach standing in the centre of a living room and then sitting on a loveseat that isn't back to the window. 

Tyler's trying his best to not be obvious, peeking outside of his own window from behind his curtains but he doesn't want to miss a moment so he pushes his curtains open just a little more. 

Josh is now sitting proudly on his love seat, a hand stroking himself while he smokes with the other. It doesn't look like a cigarette, not that Tyler truly trusts his vision. 

He's glad Josh hadn't sat on the other couch and he really wishes that he had binoculars no matter how perverted that would make him. 

He also wishes that Ashley could be home right now. Because he knows that she wouldn't let him gaze out the window like he is right now and he knows she probably would've dragged him away the moment she realized that Josh was doing something again. 

Except she isn't home and there's no one there to stop him from sticking a hand down his pants as he kneels by the window. 

"Fuck it." He says. It's impossible to resist touching himself, his knees still feeling weak from the very sight of Josh. So without a second thought, he's unbuttoning his jeans. He can already feel his future guilt but the dopamine that releases the moment his hand squeezes around himself assures him that there's no going back now. 

The sensation is much too tempting to resist anyways. 

It's difficult to stay hidden behind the long flow of curtains when every angle he tries exposes him, he doesn't want to be like Josh no matter his questionable behaviour with Ashley the week prior. He really doesn't want his other neighbours or by-standards seeing his dick. 

And for a second he debates stopping, really this is gross. He's only just met Josh and now he's watching him get off so he can get off. But he doesn't stop because he can see Josh speed up his movements and Tyler groans and follows, spitting in his hand. 

It's great, its so good, Tyler's skin is covered in perspiration and he's leaning against the window as he works his hand around his cock with quick strokes and a finger at his tip. It feels so good and he doesn't even need to look at Josh anymore. The problem is; he wants to look at Josh because this is all his fault for being attractive and insatiable enough to get off in the middle of the day. 

For a moment he considers grabbing the package he'd hidden in his room. It's not necessary though, he doesn't need anything more than his fist and Josh at the moment. 

Tyler watches Josh when he orgasms, if he squints just right he swears he can see his legs shaking as he stands up and wipes his hand off on his own torso. 

Tyler shuts his eyes then and when he comes it takes him longer then usual to start moving again. He wills himself to not look across the street again, he should go hide in his room, he wants to. 

He wants to cry but instead he peeks his head out from behind the curtain and looks. Josh should be gone, he’s not Josh is wearing boxer briefs and staring at him, Tyler pales, goes white. “Shit.” he says, wincing, he can’t hide now. 

Josh looks at him weird before smiling and waving, Tyler can’t breathe. He waves back. 

“Fuck.” 

* 

He's guilty, he feels guilty. 

There's no way around it but if Josh had seen him watching, which Tyler assumes he did, he definitely doesn't say anything when he leaves for a jog in the afternoon and smiles at Tyler in passing.

Tyler who's decided to awkwardly sun bathe on his front lawn as he does so frequently he should be burnt to a crisp. 

This, laying on his lawn, it’s better then cowering away in his house, he rather confront this problem head on. Yet apparently he still hasn't been caught. 

* 

The next day, early in the morning, Ashley sleeping on the couch, coffee still brewing there's a knock at the door. Tyler's still just half awake, he's far from dressed, he's wearing Ashley's silky bath robe because it was easier to slide on than pyjama pants. 

The knock is shrill, evil, he jumps when he hears it, and he takes a deep breath and half expects Ashley to wake up to answer. She's better then he is in the morning, she can actually form sentences, Tyler on the other hand, he can barely keep his eyes open.

He can't just wake her up for this though, so he stands, pushing himself off the couch and slugging over to the front door. He's expecting to fall asleep once the door’s open. 

But when he swings the door open with a hard tug and push and sees Josh standing there with a smile, he's suddenly very awake and very aware of what he's wearing. 

"Hi, good-morning." He says immediately, blushing at the sight of him, he knows, Tyler inhales the cool air from outside in hopes of drawing attention away from his face. The sky is still dark at this hour, the sun still rising.

Josh looks at him for a moment, still smiling although his gaze falls into something completely different. He blinks, leaning against the railing of the front porch. "Good morning, sleep well?" 

Tyler furrows his brows, he's not sure why he finds it weird for Josh to ask. "I guess so." He sighs. "You?"

"I slept amazing." Josh smiles, Tyler thinks it's suspicious and he's sure he'd easily be able to deduct why Josh slept amazingly. "So,, dinner tomorrow night?" He asks immediately, Tyler's heart stops. 

"O-Oh, yeah sure." He nods, leaning against the doorway casually, that's why Josh is here, not because Tyler's been watching him naked for weeks now. "Should I bring anything? alcohol maybe?" 

"Go for it." 

"Anything in particular?" Tyler asks.

Josh shrugs. "I don't drink so whatever you prefer." 

"I'll bring fruit then." 

"Watermelon?" Josh says, it's weird. Tyler takes the moment to stare at him, he's sweaty, red, back from his morning run most likely. 

Tyler shrugs. "Maybe. Or I'll bring cheese. Is that a thing adults do?" 

"I'll consult my mom." Josh smiles, running a hand through his tussled hair. "I'm sure she knows proper dinner etiquette because I sure as hell don't." 

"Out of all the things my parents have taught me they left out what to bring to dinner." 

Josh laughs, Tyler is sure he blushes just at the sound of him. He can't even fathom how he's able to speak to the man after what he's done and the things he's seen him do. But he can and Tyler is glad. 

"Alright, tomorrow at 6?" Josh says. "I'm sure you can find my place no problem." 

Tyler tilts his head. "I don't now, maybe you should write down your address for me. Don't want to get lost."

Josh looks at him, stares even, before grinning and giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder, his hand lingers. "See you later." 

And then he's gone, running down the steps. 

Tyler's not sure he'll be able to survive dinner. 

* 

"I miss my hair." Ashley sighs, tugging a baseball cap over her head. The sun has set, it's pitch black outside and she's slumped on the couch, all her weight against him. She's warm, her body radiates heat. 

Tyler smiles, unsurprised at her reaction to the rash decision. It suits her, having her head shaved, it really does but Ashley had complained about her hair being too short when she'd cut it to her shoulders last year. He's not sure why she'd shaved it off, he likes it though, she looks tough, she is tough. 

Tyler says nothing and instead pulls Ashley closer, an arm around her shoulders. The only noise is the tv and even so, it's beyond quiet, the volume so low the only evidence of it being on is the colours dancing across the screen lighting up their living room.

"We're eating at Josh's tomorrow at 6." Tyler says eventually, gauging her reaction. Ashley shifts against him, gripping his wrist gently.

She closes her eyes and sighs. "Why?" 

"He invited us." He says. He knows that's not the only reason he wants to go over there and so does Ashley. She doesn't have to say anything for him to know. 

"We've seen his dick, we know what kind of porn he likes." 

"Okay." Tyler says quietly. 

Ashley shifts again. "Okay?" 

Tyler shrugs, kicking his feet up on the coffee table as casually as possible. "Yeah, okay. What's the problem?" 

"Are you fucking serious," There's nothing vicious in her tone, he knows she doesn't really care. Ashley shoves away from him, looking at him intensely. "There's no way this can go well." And then she sighs, looks at him seriously. "Our chances at a normal relationship with him are over." 

"That's not true." Tyler shakes his head. "It'll be fine, just pretend it didn't happen." 

"Is that what you're doing?" 

"Yeah." No. Tyler is definitely not going to forget about it. He stands up, pushing himself away and off the couch and away from her. His car keys are heavy in his pocket. 

"Where are you going?" Ashley asks, no longer tired. 

"Grocery store." 

"For?" 

"Watermelon." He smiles, he nearly laughs. Ashley frowns.

"Tyler." She says unimpressed. He can't remember a time when he's ever impressed her. 

“Fine, i’m getting fruit.” 

“Tyler.” She groans quietly, squishing back into the couch. 

"Ashley."

"It's 11pm." She sighs, getting up, she's going to come with him. He knows, Ashley grabs a hoodie off the arm of the couch. "Why?" 

"I won't want to go tomorrow." He'll wake up at noon and stay in bed for hours but if it's nice out he'll be outside. That's how his weekends usually go. He won't want to go, he knows himself. 

"Fair enough." 

"I want candy." She says, stepping out behind him as he leads them to the front door to slip on their shoes. 

"Sure." 

"And chocolate." 

"Yeah." He sighs, pulling on a thick wooly sweater from off the coat-hanger. It smells of cigarettes, it's not his, might belong to Ashley's ex-boyfriend. That changes nothing.  
"What else?" He asks.

"A wig." 

Tyler furrows his eyebrows. "You look fine." 

"I want a wig." She pouts. 

"We'll figure something out." 

"Sweet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot this existed lol, give me your thoughts tbh. like i do want to continue this but idkkkkkk i’mreally confused about my writing style atm so that doesn’t help.


	4. Chapter 4

 

  
Josh's house is a replica of his own. Tyler comes to realize this once he's at the front door, fruit platter under his arm, Ashley by his side. She's tired, still yawning even though it's well into the day.

"Just knock." She sighs.

Tyler squeezes the large plastic container under his arm, he eyes the pieces of watermelon. "Maybe we should do this another night?"

Ashley shoves him to the side, a small push. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She makes a fist and knocks quickly in succession. This isn't the first time she's had to intervene and take charge of a situation that Tyler's put them in. He constantly makes plans only to have Ashley be the one to make sure he goes through with them.

He didn't think that this would be one of those times.

"Fuck." Tyler straightens up, clutching the fruit platter he's holding to compensate for his nerves.

Ashley shoves him again, elbows him in the ribs. "Why the fuck are you fre-"

The door opens widely, Tyler cuts her off. "Hey Josh." He smiles, taking in the man in front of him with a subtle scan of his eyes. It's impossible to not stare even just a little bit around him.

"Hi, Tyler." Josh says, smiles genuinely, he turns to Ashley next and Tyler lets out a deep breath. "I'm guessing you're Ashley?"

She smiles then, pushing her hand out for him to shake. "Yeah that's me, nice to meet you." Josh grabs her hand in earnest and Tyler hates that he can't help but curl his fingers as he watches them interact.

"Likewise." Josh stands back against the door frame before rolling his shoulders back and tilting his head towards the warmth of his home. "Well, come on in."

They do, Josh leads them inside and Tyler beckons the grocery store fruit platter into Josh's hands as soon the front door is closed. Josh smiles in appreciation and goes to put it in what Tyler guesses is the kitchen.

Quickly, Tyler slips his shoes off, Ashley does it faster. She’s gone before he's even gotten his second one off.

And she fucking winks at him before she saunters off to wherever Josh has gone off to. Tyler closes his eyes and inhales, exhales, this is going to be long.

He zips down his sweater, hangs it up on a coat rack. Josh's house smells clean, it smells like cleaning products and candles. Tyler let’s lets his eyes wander, painfully aware that he's taking too much time hiding in the mud room. The hallway in front of him is long, pictures hanging on the walls, he can see the doorways that leads into other spaces as he gulps.

Looking around, it's almost difficult to do, because he knows that Josh will most likely bring them to the living room to entertain them. He's not prepared to be in that room and he's definitely not looking forward to it because all he'll be able to think about is Josh's insistance on getting off in the very room, multiple times a day.

He pulls at his hair and glares at the front door, he could leave if he wanted to. Save himself from a night of awkwardness. Except he sees Ashley's head poke out from down the hallway and he groans.

"Tyler, get over here." Ashley's eyes burn into his, she's whispering but she might yell if he doesn't move.

Tyler points at the door, frowning.

Ashley rolls her eyes and points at the kitchen before disappearing.

"Sorry, I- _uh_ got a text from work." Tyler lies as he joins them both in the kitchen. It's small, basically the same as theirs with the exception of a dining room table that's managed to be pushed up against the wall.

Josh is turned towards his fridge, rummaging through it. "Anything interesting?" He asks.

Tyler shrugs, prepared to make something up about his crazy boss. "There's nothing interesting about being someone's personal assistant." He sighs. "It's boring, the most fun I have is purposely messing up his coffee order every morning."

"Sounds like something I would do." Josh says, grinning as he stands up, a water bottle in hand. He frowns for a moment, in thought. "Actually i've definitely done that."

"Ever spat in someone's coffee?" Ashley asks, staring at Tyler. Tyler flushes, Josh doesn't seem to notice.

Josh nods, taking a drink of water. "Oh yeah."

"Boss?" Tyler asks, curious.

"Nah, one of my old co-workers. I used to work at a coffee shop when I was in high school and this girl, Amanda or something, she kept trying to kiss me and I definitely didn't want her to. But I was too scared to actually confront her about it, so I decided that spitting in her drink was pay back enough."

"Did she notice?" Ashley asks, leaning against the kitchen counter, nearly sitting on top of it.

Josh laughs. "No, not at all. She drank the whole thing and I didn't say a word. It was a silent victory."

Tyler nods, silent as he settles himself atop one of the tall chairs. "Where do you work now?" It's casual, this first conversation will set the tone for the rest of the night.

"I have a two jobs, I'm a waiter at a restaurant downtown and I bartend." He pauses and looks between them both, his hair follows the movement. "I'm actually looking for a third right now so if you know of any open positions let me know."

Ashley doesn't bother hiding her surprise. "You have the energy for 3 jobs?"

"No. But I have time and money's tight so it's good to be prepared in case I break my leg and need to pay medical bills."

Tyler snorts.

Josh looks at his own drink and then eyes Ashley and Tyler. " _Shit_ , im a terrible host. Do you guys want anything to drink? I've got water, orange juice......."

"Any pepsi?" Ashley asks, she's already drank three cans today, Tyler doesn't dare mention that.

Josh just shakes his head and sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, palms flat on the counter. "I don't drink soda."

"I'll take some orange juice, please." Tyler smiles.

Josh nods. "Ashley?"

"Okay, i'll just take some water then." She pauses, looks around before smiling at Josh. "But first, the bathroom?"

"Oh, yeah just down the hall and take a left." He points at the doorway as though it's supposed to help. Ashley's gone seconds later and Tyler knows what she's doing, he'll have to scold her later. He doesn't want to be alone with Josh, at all. Still he is and he can't stop looking at him, it's different seeing him up close.

"No alcohol? No soda?" Tyler asks.

Josh shakes his head, grabbing a second water bottle from the fridge for Ashley and a fucking juice box for Tyler. His hair shakes with him, it's curled behind his ears, long. "I'm a very addictive person." He says, placing the drink on the counter.

Tyler's eyes widen and Josh flushes, waving a hand before going back to tapping his fingers against the counter. "Not like that, I mean in the sense that I develop unhealthy obsessions too easily, that's why I don't smoke or drink." He passes Tyler his juice box, a slide across the slick counter.

The memory of watching Josh smoke and masturbate breaches through his mind. Josh smokes and Josh is lying. The memory of feeling, of touching himself, staring across the street into this very house comes to thought as well. Tyler has to push down a whimper. He collects himself before he leans against the counter. "Oh, has that been in issue in the past?"

Josh nods solemnly, Tyler thinks he's pushed him too far. "Haven't had a drink in 4 years."

Tyler blinks, he tries his best to hide his shock. He hadn't pegged him as a former alcoholic. "Wow, congrats man. That's really impressive."

"Thank you!" Josh beams, stretching his arms above his head to reveal a toned  
stomach. Tyler gulps, Josh brings his arms back down and throws a casual glance to the arch way leading to the living room.

"Want to go sit in the living room?" The words bring Tyler to an internal whine.

" _Oh_ , uh sure." He says, nervous, the urge to bite his nails is there. So is the urge to run away and hide in his house. Tyler is brave, he follows Josh into his living room and pretends like his cheeks haven't gone red.

"It's nice in here, very cozy." Tyler stares at the tv and then at the couch. But then at the TV again, the fucking TV that Josh plays his porn on late at night, curtains wide open.

Josh shrugs, running a hand through his hair before facing Tyler. "Yeah, I tried to decorate like my mom would've."

"Well your mom has good taste." Tyler remarks, following Josh to the couch. Josh sits comfortably, immediately bringing a foot to rest on the coffee table and spreading his legs, wide. It's his house, it makes sense. Tyler takes a spot on an armchair, resisting the urge to bring his knees to his chin like a child would.

"Are you alright?" Josh asks cautiously.

Tyler frowns, confused. He worries that he's too transparent. "I'm fine." He waves him off with a shrug of his shoulders and a casual smile.

Josh just looks at him with a blank stare. "Sorry, you just seem uncomfortable."

"I do?" He's not, he's just nervous but Josh moves to the edge of the couch, he's closer now. If he reached out with his arms he'd be touching Tyler.

"A little bit, is there anything I could do?" Josh is too nice, Tyler hates him for it, he ruffles up his hair a bit and sighs.

"Can I smoke in here?" He asks, Josh smokes. He lied earlier and it's even more clear now, he just nods, no discomfort, nothing tense about it.

"Oh. If that'll help, yeah go for it." He says.

Tyler frowns but still stands up to pat down his jeans for his cigarettes. "You sure? Cause you said earlier...." He grabs them out of his back pocket.

Josh just shakes his head. "Don't worry about it, people smoke in here all the time." Tyler is pink, Josh is referring to his many, _many_ hookups.

"What did I miss?" Ashley asks as she strolls into the living room, Tyler huffs out a breath of relief.

She comes to a stop when she enters and looks at Tyler who's lit his cigarette. And it's because she's remembering Josh now too. She's remembering the things she's seen happen from across the street. She plays it off better than Tyler, she sits beside Josh, knees to his.

"Nothing really, I was just worried that Tyler was uncomfortable." Josh explains, Tyler's cheeks go pink again and he really wishes he could just hide away right now.

"Don't worry about him." Ashley rolls her eyes. "He's like that, most of the time anyways."

Tyler groans and looks at the floor. "I am not-i'm not uncomfortable. I'm perfectly okay."

"Fine." She sighs and nods at the water bottle in front of her, a gesture to ask Josh if it's hers, it is. She grabs it and looks at Tyler. "You're awkward."

"I'm not." Tyler frowns.

Josh laughs, a hand running through his hair. "Don't worry, i'm awkward too."

"I disagree, you're far from awkward." Ashley says, always eager to get under Tyler's skin. Tyler can tell this night isn’t going to end well, he can tell that Ashley is not going to stop making fun of him and not going to stop finding ways to keep the two of them alone.

"So, have you guys always lived in Columbus?" Josh asks easily, it's small talk and Tyler thinks he can handle it. It's better then encouraging Ashley to take over.

"All my life." Tyler says, eyes on his hands, fingers curling and uncurling as though learning how to do so for the first time. "I used to live on a farm."

Ashley groans. "Don't remind me." Ashley looks at Josh then. "He used to have this ridiculous accent-"

"Ashley!"

"I cant even describe it." She smiles, grinning, enjoying this all too much. "He sounded canadian."

Tyler looks at Josh, grinning. "She's lying." He rolls his eyes. "I've always sounded like this."

"I believe it." Josh smiles. "What kind of farm?"

Tyler smiles, fond memories of acres of land and hot summer days dancing through his head. "We didn't even have animals or corn, it's not the ranch life you're probably imagining. It just sounds cool to say that i lived on a farm." Tyler shrugs. “It was just farm land, we didn’t tend to it or anything.”

Ashley snorts. "It does not sound cool."

Josh leans back, a hand on his knee, an arm around the back of the couch. "It can be cool. My grandma has an actual farm, with animals." He looks pointedly at Tyler and winks, Tyler flushes. "Still does actually. I think my siblings still go up there to go horse back riding."

"Do either of you horse back ride?" Josh asks.

"I have, but i'm not like super comfortable with it. It's kind of scary." Tyler shrugs, trying not to be embarrassed.

The small talk lasts hours.

  
*

When the sun is setting, Josh brings them to the kitchen.

And for supper; Josh cooks. For some reason this comes as a surprise to Tyler.

He's genuinely surprised when Josh brings them back into the kitchen and starts pulling out the ingredients to what is apparently going to be pasta and chicken.

Since he's courteous and glad to be out of the living room, he helps chop vegetables. Josh tasks him with two large onions, red peppers and tomatoes while Ashley sips from her water bottle and watches them cook. Her exact words had been. "I don't cook." Despite her cooking for Tyler all the time.

"I'm sorry in advance if I cut this all wrong." Tyler murmurs, peeling off the first layer of the small onion. He has no idea what he's doing.

"I doubt you'll do a bad job, just make sure the pieces are small." Josh smiles, patting him on the back in passing. Tyler shivers.

"Nothing Tyler does is ever small." Ashley snorts, leaning close to Tyler.

Tyler groans. "Please stop, this is why I cant take you anywhere."

"Hey, uh- do you guys have some more tomatoes by any chance?" Josh's head and body is hidden behind the fridge door, the sound of him searching through bottles can be heard. "I need like 3 more for the sauce."

Tyler looks to Ashley, Ashley nods. "Yeah, I think we do. We went grocery shopping yesterday." Already grabbing her phone, already ready to leave. Tyler might cry.

_No No No No No._

"Yeah, sorry I really thought I had enough for this recipe. Don't know why I decided making homemade sauce was a good idea."

Ashley shakes her head and smiles. "Nah I'll go grab them, i'll be right back."

"Thank you." Josh says, groaning as he gets up from in front of the fridge. Instead starting to rummage through cupboards.

Tyler tenses, pausing his vegetable chopping, staring at Ashley.

She winks at him as she walks away. _fuck_. Why is everyone always winking at him?

She obviously knows, Tyler should've known that she'd noticed that he has a thing for Josh, well something for him at least. Not even he knows what it is.

He doubts she'll come back in a few minutes, he doubts she'll come back at all first but then Josh will know her leaving was just a ruse to get them to sleep together. Ashley isn't that dumb.

She'll be back in 20 minutes, 15 minutes minimum.

Tyler wipes at his eyes with the back of his hands, the juice of onions a good excuse for his tears. "No offence." Tyler murmurs quietly once he hears the front door shut, knife carving the side of an onion, he can't look at Josh. "But she's probably going to take like 20 minutes, get high, and then head to the grocery store. I really don't think we have tomatoes." He sniffs.

Josh snorts, moving in beside Tyler closely. He's filling up a pot of water, presumably to cook the pasta in. "It's fine, I take no offence as long as she brings something back for the sauce." He pauses. "Just- she doesn't hate me or something does she?" Josh's question almost makes Tyler laugh.

"I-uh, don't think so. I can't read her mind, sorry to disappoint." Tyler sighs dramatically, focusing on his hands instead of Josh, Josh who is close to him. "But, I think you'd know if she hated you. Ashley is very verbal. Says whatever comes to mind, yells a lot." He murmurs softly

"I guess you'd be the one to know." Josh shrugs. He means something by it and Tyler doesn't bother being offended. But he tenses, why would Josh say that?

Tyler looks at him. "I'm her best friend." A clarification, it shouldn't be needed, it's obvious they aren't dating. It should be obvious.

“Are you?” Josh doesn't say anything after that, he just hums like he knows _something_ , he's behind Tyler by the stove, placing the pot of water atop a element.

The nerves hit Tyler a few seconds later, he's completely frozen in thought, why would Josh say something like that? is his first question. They just met, so why would Tyler lie to him about something like that, if he was dating Ashley he would've said so. He definitely wasn't going to tell Josh that he's slept with her though. It's really not his business and why would he even care?

The realization hits him as though it's a surprise, Josh saw him fucking Ashley. He must have, Tyler comes to this conclusion very quickly.

He pauses, drops the knife he's holding, curls his fingers. " _Fuck_."

Tyler turns around, he's expecting anger, expecting Josh to knock him out for being an exhibitionist. Josh is already looking at him though and he's not getting ready to punch him, he's just staring at him, chewing on his bottom lip.

Always having the upper hand, always calm.

He's waiting, expecting something, an excuse maybe, an apology, Tyler doesn't know. If anything he should be telling Josh to apologize to him. Josh is the one at fault, but Tyler feels so guilty.

That doesn't stop his cock from twitching in his jeans. Doesn't stop him from wanting to fall to his knees and please Josh how's he's been wanting to.

Tyler can't move, he can't speak though.

Confrontations have never been his strong suit and Josh is just fucking- He's leaning against the fridge, completely carelessly. And he knows, he most definitely knows that Tyler is about to start crying or something. Tyler's not going to cry though, he's just going to confess everything if he doesn't pull himself together right now.

The silence eats the room, Tyler's cheeks are burning and he can't even form words, the english language is lost on him.

Josh sighs, smiles. "Dude, it's fine." A hand is on Tyler's shoulder, Josh is closer now, his thumb stroking down Tyler's arm. "Don't freak out about it."

"Look, I-I-Don't know what you saw." Tyler chokes out, Tyler knows exactly what he saw, Josh is staring at him. Josh probably knows it's a lie somehow but Tyler continues, eyes locked downwards. "I'm sorry,"

Another snort, Josh turns away slowly, stirring the pot before turning off the element. Tyler gulps. "As if I care if you guys have sex against your living room window."

"Why wouldn't you care?" Tyler asks quietly, playing dumb feels like his only option.

But Josh turns around again, completely amused. "Fuck man, just own up to watching me would you? This is beyond painful."

"I-Don-" Tyler is stuttering, Tyler might come in his pants right here in Josh's kitchen. Might come in his pants just by the way Josh is staring at him.

"You do." Josh says, closer then before, closer like before, hand to his arm this time. "All the time. Feels like having a _fucking_ stalker."

Is Tyler supposed to be crying? He's about to, his lips quiver, so does his chin. "I'm sorry." He feels bad, so bad. Josh doesn't deserve this. He can't even look at him.

Josh hates him.

Josh hates him and Josh invited him here to call him out.

Josh hates him, he hates him so much and Tyler is going to be mortified for the rest of his life.

Josh has his thumb on his chin, pulling him up, up, up to look at him. "It's okay, i'm not actually mad." He whispers, wipes his tears. "Why are you upset?"

Tyler sniffs, doesn't shy away from Josh's touch, doesn't shy away how Josh is slowly backing him up into the counter. "You hate me and i'm so gross." His eyes are still wet. "I-you're right I look at you all the time and I jerked off to you the other day and now I feel really bad and i'm upset because you deserve your privacy and i invaded it and now i'm in your house and ashley left us alone because she thinks i want to fuck you but-"

"Shut up." Josh sighs, pressing his hand over Tyler's mouth. "Shut the fuck up." There's nothing biting to his tone, he’s quiet, far from yelling.

He's pressing against him, he's hard, Tyler trembles, hands tight in the fabric of Josh's shirt. "I liked it, I liked you watching, always looked for you, always made sure you were home."

Tyler closes his eyes, inhaling. Josh likes him.

Tyler opens his eyes, exhaling. Josh likes that he looks at him.

"Do you want to suck me off?" Josh asks, casual, stroking down Tyler's jaw, letting him breathe. Crowding him against the counter like he's nothing. Tyler is nothing.

And Tyler is nodding, the words don't even fully register but he's nodding, he does, he wants to. Rant forgotten. Josh doesn't hate him, Josh _fucking_ likes him. "Y-yeah." His voice is small, squeaky and he can't- no won't look at Josh.

"Don't hate you." Josh murmurs, hand curling around Tyler's hip. Blunt nails digging into skin.

There's no kissing involved, but there's a hand on his shoulder once Josh backs up, a pressure pushing him down, down, down to his knees. Tyler follows it, gulps as he's hidden by the tall kitchen counter.

Sitting on his knees in front of Josh.

This is what he's been thinking about for weeks and now he's nervous. Hands on Josh's thighs, slow, careful. "I- Are you sure?" Tyler asks, maybe he's trying to procrastinate.

Josh pops the button of his jeans, looking down at Tyler, threading his fingers through his short hair. "Are you?"

Tyler wants this, Josh likes him, he wants it too. "Yeah." He licks his lips, gets closer, breath ghosting over Josh's covered cock.

Josh is smiling above him, ridding himself of his T-shirt while Tyler works down his jeans, a zipper is pulled and then a waistband is shoved all the way to ankles, Josh steps out of them, kicks them to the side. Nerves gone, Tyler stares at him, admires him from up close for the first time. It's different then seeing him from his fucking window.

"You look good." Tyler says, hands holding Josh's hips, thumbs reaching to hook beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs. "Have you thought about this before?" He asks, tries not to stutter, slowly pulling and tugging at the fabric.

Josh's fingers curl around the edge of the counter. "Yeah." He groans, Tyler kisses him through his underwear. Josh's hands immediately reach for Tyler's hair, something more to pull. "I have."

Tyler squeaks, it hurts, Josh's grip is tight but he says nothing. Just pulls down Josh's briefs, mouth watering. This is all he wants, his knees are already sore. Tyler can't even remember the last time he sucked a guy off. He's been favouring Ashley to get off for the past few months. This is better. Guys are better.

Josh's cock is better, leaking against a soft bed of dark curls, hips twitching, his body pressing forward, searching for Tyler's touch wether it be from his mouth or his hands.

Tyler introduces his mouth first and albeit being unsure he doesn't hesitate, his hand wraps around the base, while his other steadies against Josh's hip. Balance is important and Josh whimpers the moment Tyler's lips are around the head of his cock. " _Fuck_ , yeah."

His stomach convulses, tightens and Tyler's does too. He's so incredibly warm as he licks, sucks, swirls his tongue around the tip. He wants Josh to feel good, he wants Josh to use him, he wants Josh to fuck his mouth but he doesn't think their ready for that. He licks up his shaft and then kisses at the tip.

"You're good." Josh says shakily, eyes shining.

Tyler pulls off for a moment, licks his lips, Josh tightens his grip in his hair, tilting his head upwards. "You're not going to call me a slut are you?" Tyler asks, eyes big, dark, lust driven as he strokes Josh's cock with his hand to compensate for the lack of his mouth.

"Do you want me to call you a slut? Because I can if that's what you want." Josh says breathlessly, he's panting, his hips move with Tyler's hand, his fingers pull Tyler's hair.

Tyler spits in his hand, the free one, wraps his fingers around Josh's prick and shakes his head. “Not now, i'm just making sure." Tyler says.

"Cool whatever you wan- _ah_ -fuck, _Tyler_." Tyler's around him again, his mouth wet, hot, sucking down his cock with purpose. Tyler tries not to make it messy, but spit still drips down his chin and he can feel how wet his underwear have become, feel himself already approach an orgasm despite not having been touched yet.

It's embarrassing and sucking Josh off in his kitchen should also be embarrassing but Tyler thinks it's the hottest thing he's ever done.

Josh is making all these little noises above him, his hips gyrate towards him and Tyler knows that Josh is trying not to thrust into his mouth but he doesn't even think to tell him that he can. He loves this, loves the way Josh is trembling, loves that if he looks at Josh's thighs he can visibly see said trembles.

"More, sh- _Oh_." Josh gasps, that's all Tyler is able to make out. Tyler gives him more, he clenches his own legs together as he does this. As he takes Josh's cock down his throat as far as he can, Josh whimpering, gasping, shaking above him. Tyler's nose against his pubes, his teeth hidden away, his tongue still working at Josh's cock.

Josh's hips are moving on their own, Josh has stopped talking completely too busy, chasing Tyler's mouth, chasing his orgasm. It's great; Josh's dick twitching in his mouth, Josh here, Josh liking him, Josh moaning. "I- I, _Tyler_."

He comes, Josh moans, his body relaxing, deflating as his orgasm waves through his body.

Tyler coaxes him through it, still sucking, still keeping Josh's cock wet and sated. Tyler thinks he's generous and then he thinks he's selfish, he wants Josh's come down his throat.

And Josh is, he's coming down his throat. "Fucking hell, take it, _take it_." He moans, thrusting into Tyler's mouth for the first time, Tyler tries not to choke, he chokes anyways, chokes on his cock, chokes on his semen. He accepts it and expects Josh to continue, Josh doesn't, he pulls out, a line saliva connecting Tyler's lips to Josh's cock.

Josh is panting, Tyler reaches for his dick again, Josh's hips twitching away as he does so. "You- _Fuck_ , I was expecting you to be bad." His eyes are closed. Tyler let's go of him and sits back against the, dizzy with arousal.

And Tyler wants to be offended at Josh's remark but he's close.

Tyler is so close, whining. His stomach tight, his dick pleading for pressure, for anything, it takes nothing more than a touch, his palm to his crotch for him to orgasm. Whole body trembling, convulsing, he latches onto Josh's leg and Josh is immediately petting his hair, crouching down beside him. "There you go." He sighs and then, "So good, There you fucking go."

He whines, pressing back against Josh. Gripping his shirt and pulling him towards him, onto his lap. Tyler trembles at the pressure and hides his face against Josh's bare neck.

Josh isn't wearing anything but Tyler isn't bothered and Josh isn't either. Josh just holds him, doesn't kiss his lips but his temples and then both his cheeks.

"I, shit. I came in my pants." Tyler groans, breathless, mouth hot against the skin of Josh's neck.

Josh pats down his hair, squeezing him, Tyler's eyes are shut. "I know,"

"I sucked your dick." Tyler says, still surprised that he really did it.

Josh snorts. "Yeah, I was there."

"Shut up." Tyler groans, pushing Josh back, away from him. It's playful. He's calm, all nerves from before have completely faded. It doesn't matter.

Tyler reaches for Josh's waist. Josh leans into his touch. "I think it's unfair that i'm naked and you're not." He whispers, smile bright on his lips.

Still no kisses, Tyler squirms. "Should I be feeling awkward right now?" He whispers. It should be awkward, they don't know each other, Tyler just had his dick in his mouth. There's no reason why he should feel comfortable.

"No, do you?"

Tyler frowns. "No." He rubs Josh's thighs, leg hair sparse and soft up and down. His hands end up holding his hips, the bone there jutting out just slightly. "I think we should get up."

Josh nods, his nose sniffs as he moves off of Tyler, eyes immediately drawn to the floor, searching for what Tyler presumes are his underwear. "Yeah, you're right."

Tyler moves awkwardly, can't get up, he can feel his spunk soaking through his underwear.

Josh seems to notice. "Do you want like- fresh briefs or something?"

"Please."

Josh grabs his pants and underwear off the floor, not bothering to slide them on. "I'll be right back."

He disappears down the hallway, Tyler is glad there aren't any windows in the kitchen and he's even more glad that Ashley isn't back yet. Moving off the floor has him grunting the whole time, legs still weak, body still somehow coming down from his orgasm.  It's too much, his mouth still tastes like Josh's dick, like his come. He needs to brush his fucking teeth.

When Josh comes back, he's dressed against, his hair looks brushed and he's brought Tyler underwear. Tyler considers just changing in-front of Josh but he needs to clean himself up so he heads for the bathroom. He rinses his mouth with the mouthwash on the counter and then his hand before he's slipping on the fresh pair of briefs, dick twitching because he knows these are Josh's, when his phone begins buzzing with texts.

Ashley: Can I come back? I ended up having to go to the grocery store lol, also might have spent an extra 10 minutes driving around

Tyler: you were gone forever, i fucking hate you. come back

Ashley: Fine ;) On my way!

*

They don't really talk aside from Josh asking if Tyler wants to throw his boxers in the laundry, he asks this with the promise to bring them back. Tyler throws them in with Josh's laundry though, not in the mood to walk back to his place despite the close distance.

Other then that Josh quietly directs him around the kitchen, the silence isn't awkward, it's comfortable. The only thing they want is food and maybe more orgasms. Tyler's ready to go again, Josh isn't pushing it. Tyler's ready to ask questions and bend over for Josh, but he doesn't. Not today, maybe tomorrow. Tyler isn't sure when he'll ask, but he promises himself that he will.

When Ashley comes back it's with a bag full of tomatoes, everything is ready except the pasta sauce. Josh had cooked everything, while Tyler stood around and played games on his phone. There really hadn't been that much prep work to do.

She says. "Sorry, uh-I got very lost." The moment she's inside, placing them on the counter in front of Tyler. At least she got an excessive amount.

"It's fine, we found a way to stay entertained." Josh winks at Tyler, Ashley snorts, Tyler blushes and Dinner goes better then expected.

*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m back, i hope the sex was sexy??? LOL IM SO SORRY, i take the longest break between chapters for this. hopefully i can pull myself together. i just think i put myself in a really awkward situation, writing a dinner party seemed hard, writing small talk that wasn’t boring was annoying. and deciding if it was too soon for smut was ???


	5. Chapter 5

 

  
When they leave Josh's, it's with warm bellies and smiles. Tyler hugs him goodbye, a hand on the small of his back, Josh laughing against his ear at something Ashley had said.

Ashley buzzes Tyler with questions the moment Josh waves them off. "Tyler." She says, nails digging into his arm as they cross the street. "Tell me what happened, please. I'm not dumb."

"Something happened, you kissed him didn't you?"

And when Tyler said nothing, she gasped. "No, you did something more - did you jerk off in his bathroom, because that, _that_ would not be surprising."

"Fuck you, Tyler, I bought tomatoes, I drove around in circles and wasted gas for 20 minutes. Did you fuck him? Did he fuck you?"

Tyler deflects all of them, everything she says goes through one ear and straight out the other and by the time their home he kisses Ashley's cheek and goes to bed. "I'm not telling you shit." He sing-songs, walking towards his bedroom.

Ashley's eyes widen and she yells at him when he says this. "You're going to tell me what happened, I swear to god."

Tyler had just laughed, incredibly happy and sated.

*

Tyler dreams, there's no way he couldn't, Josh is there, he's at his house again but this time he isn't on his knees, Josh is. Positions swapped, Josh is kissing him, Tyler is pressing him to the counter and Josh is offering to suck him off.

Dream Tyler begs him to, dream Tyler is whiny and he whimpers and pulls on Josh's hair and comes in Josh's mouth.

And when Tyler wakes up, his underwear are sticky and he wants to go see Josh. He needs to and he's got his robe wrapped around him, prepared to cross the street when he notices that Josh's truck isn't in the driveway.

*

Tyler's routine changes slowly after that. He didn't expect it to, almost nothing has changed except for his relationship with Josh. But even so, things are different.

Ashley is suspicious, she's snooping, desperate to know what happened between them. Still nagging him with questions, over and over again.

Their normal routine changes after a few days because Josh is gone, Ashley is in the dark.

And it all starts when Ashley's leaves the house and it ends when she comes back.

Which in its own way should be exciting, Ashley still doesn't know what went down and she's extremely annoyed by it.

Tyler loved it and it was safe to say that he wasn't going to tell her anything for the next little while, just to drive her crazy. He gets the feeling that she's going to start snooping around though, which is partially why their routine changes.

Ashley changes her shift schedule, without telling him and starts getting home an hour earlier, practically sneaking into the house. Tyler figures she wants to catch him and Josh in the act about an hour after she walks in on him taking a piss.

She had just stared, shrugged and then left and Tyler had been too sleepy to even realize what had happened.

He hasn't even seen Josh since that night and it's not that he hasn't been looking. No, Tyler sits in front of his living room window and looks for him, even when Josh's pickup truck isn't in the driveway and hasn't been for a few days. Ever since he'd had that wet dream 3 days ago Josh hasn't been back home.

Josh left, he's gone for now and Tyler somehow misses him despite having only spent that one night together and their few short conversation they've had leading up to it. Blaming himself comes easy, not that he considers himself a drastic change in Josh's life considering Josh has people over all the time, but he considers himself a change because he's Josh's neighbour and he's going to be much more unforgettable compared to anyone else Josh has been with.

When Ashley gets home today, suspicious, always suspicious, she sees him staring out the window. "Tyler." She sighs.

"Mhm, what?" He turns to look at her, he's sitting on the floor, just tall enough to see out the window from where he's at.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Tyler snorts sadly. "Just, relaxing." He looks back outside.

"Yeah, sure. Dude, he's fine, he probably went to go visit his family or some shit like that."

"Can you shut up?" Tyler groans, not willing to admit that he's looking for him, waiting for him.

"Can you tell me what you two did?"

Tyler shuts up.

  
*

The week passes by slowly, slower then Tyler had imagined it would. He gets very involved with his job though, somehow he can't think about anything else when he's not slacking off. All he can think about is his boss, Michael, Michael who doesn't stop yelling at him, Michael who keeps him occupied enough to not think about Josh.

When he's at home he thinks about him though, Tyler's not the type for one night stands, especially not when said one night stand is also his neighbour, his neighbour that he sees frequently. 

Today, Ashley comes home with a wig on her head, Tyler had expected blue. If she was getting any wig he would've thought it to be blue, but it isn't and it's weird to him that she chose something different.

It mirrors her natural dark hair, medium length, it looks real, it looks good and it suits her. She smiles at him, it's weak. "Does this look okay?" Theres a small braid tucked behind her ear.

Tyler nods, turning down the volume on the TV. "You look cute." He pats the spot beside him, she looks like she needs a hug, which, albeit rare, does happen occasionally.

"I just- I needed a change and even without hair it felt like it was still blue." She sits down beside him, Tyler frowns at the way she's carrying herself, he knows her.

Ashley blinks at him, eyes on the verge of tears. "Y-You know when I got home that night?"

"Yeah." His voice is soft, already worried. Tyler hadn't forgotten about it, Ashley panicking, crying as he bleached her hair. Asking her what was going on was out of the question at the time, he just needed to be there for her, comfort her, he didn't need to know what was wrong. "Did something happen?" He asks softly, trying to be soft, gentle for her.

She goes tense, Tyler can tell she's going to lie, going to deflect and ignore whatever was going on. It's what she's always done and Tyler knew it was what she'd being doing ever since that night. Surprisingly, Ashley nods, completely defeated, face hidden behind her hands, can't even look at him, it's hard to do. Tyler tries to understand, and when Ashley starts crying he feels himself tear up. "Can I hug you?" He asks.

Immediately Ashley scoots closer to him and leans into his touch as he gently wraps his arms around her. Her body shakes when she cries and Tyler just holds her, terrified to know what happened, terrified for Ashley, guilty for not bothering to figure things out sooner.

"It's, nothing bad." She whispers, Tyler wipes her tears away with the pads of his thumbs, still close to her.

"Ashley." He sighs.

She looks at her hands, they're shaking. "Okay so I might've run into my ex." She stutters. "The abusive one." Tyler's heart breaks at the mention of him, he was hard to forget about but that didn't mean he didn't try his hardest. It was bad, it was really bad but Ashley had never reported it and Tyler was never going to force her to. The bruises he left on her skin were dark and so were the ones he left on her mind. It was the most toxic relationship Tyler had ever witnessed.

After him she dated another guy, who actually treated her well, they broke up on good terms which Tyler was glad for. He didn't need his best friend in a worse place then she already was. But generally after him Ashley hadn't dated, the only reason she'd dated her last boyfriend was so she could move on and reassure herself that not all men would treat her like her abusive ex had.

Tyler hugs her again, Ashley sighs. "And he, _fuck_." She sniffs, curling her fingers in the material of his hoodie, Tyler expects her to start sobbing again but she doesn't, she just hides her face against his torso. "He told me he liked my hair and was glad I hadn't changed it."

"And then he said he'd see me around." Her voice wavers as she speaks and Tyler feels his own eyes go wet.

"Where did you see him? Please tell me he didn't show up at your work." She changed jobs right after they officially broke up.

Ashley sniffs, and pulls away from him, her eyes red and puffy. She shakes her head, looking down. "No, um- I was with my dealer and he just fucking came up to us and my guy offered him some coke, which wasn't what I was buying." She clarifies, despite Tyler already knowing Ashley wouldn't do hard drugs. "And he said yes, bought some. I was petrified, I could barely breathe once we were alone. I ran away the second he started talking."

Tyler soothes his hands up and down her shoulders. "You're safe here." Tyler says and kisses her cheek. "Our house is safe okay? He doesn't even know where you're living, and he never will, i'll keep you safe." Tyler says, he needs to keep her safe, Ashley nods.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?" He knows she likes the comfort of sleeping beside something, she likes it even more then he does.

"Y-yeah, thank you." She says quietly and leans into him.

Tyler just hugs her again.

*

 

After Ashley confesses her run in with her ex, she mostly goes back to her normal self. Tyler was nervous that she'd get bad, go back to her nervous and anxious self, go back to being miserable. When something triggers her, Ashley has to restart from the beginning but this time, she's okay. She's okay from what he can see anyways.

This time she's smiling at him and hugging him and cooking them dinner and going out after work and he's glad she's really pushing through it. He's proud of her and Tyler loves her for it.

But this time, she decides that she's going to figure out what's going on between him and Josh and Tyler hates it, hates that she's become so focused on him. He's not willing to tell her to fuck off, maybe he's being a bit too patronizing but he feels the need to be gentle with her, he can't help it right now.

Today their routine changes because when Ashley leaves this morning, her car just down the road, there's a knock at the door. And when he opens the door, confused, half awake, holding a bong he's immediately pushed back inside by the weight of Josh's body. "What the fuck." Tyler squeaks, almost yells.

It happens fast. Josh says. "Hey." Tyler blinks, shocked, eyes wide, his mouth opening and closing as he searches for words.

"H-hi?"Tyler manages, not bothering to hide his body. There's a blush that reaches from his ears to his neck, he stares at Josh. Any question or complaint he had gone.

It's quiet, Tyler is still in shock when Josh speaks again. "Can I come in?" He smooths his hair back, the motion useless to changing anything about the curls on his head. Tyler is already getting hard and he hates himself for it.

He should say no, Josh doesn't deserve to come inside his home but Tyler presses his lips together and lets Josh inside. Josh disappeared for days, worried him, scared him. Tyler stares as Josh wanders inside, pausing to look at him.

"Why are you here?" Tyler asks, he doesn't mean to sound rude. He doubts it sounds it anyways, his voice is meek, small. He barely knows what to say.

Josh says nothing, his lip caught between his teeth.

And then Tyler is pushed against the wall, he squeaks again, the sound more surprised then anything. Josh's body following his, pressing to his.

And then Tyler drops the bong, Ashley's bong to the floor. It doesn't smash.

And then Josh shuts the door behind them with a slam.

Tyler's eyes are wide and Josh kisses him, right in the entrance way. There isn't time for questions, everything Tyler has been thinking about is already forgotten and will come back to him later.

It happens fast, Josh kissing him, wet, dirty, chest pressing against him. And Tyler kisses him back, hands immediately searching for something to grasp, Josh's hair the victim. Tyler opens his mouth, invites Josh's tongue, invites Josh to kiss him harder and Josh does. Josh tastes like coffee, Tyler is sure he tastes like morning breath. And Tyler can't breathe, he is breathless and stays that way until Josh pulls away first.

The eye contact makes Tyler gulp, his whole body is anticipating this, he's nearly shaking. Josh's hands and body a comfortable weight pressing him to the wall. Tyler sighs, curling his fingers through Josh's hair. "Where've you been?" He asks again, as though he'll get an answer. "You can't i-just do that-"

There's not an answer.

Instead Josh is dropping to his knees, Tyler's eyes following him down. Josh looks up at him, licks his lips. "Is this okay?" Asking for consent, Tyler forgets his past question and Tyler says yes, he says it 3 times. He whispers it. "Yes, yes, _yes_." and then a quiet. "Please." His chest heaves, he doesn't care, he doesn't care at all.

Clothes are shoved up, pushed down, Tyler is panting already, he isn't even wearing briefs and he bites his lip to contain any noises he may make. He trembles as he watches Josh's eyes widen at the sight of his cock, half hard, nestled against a thicket of dark pubic hair. Tyler's hips stutter, jerking forward. " _Please_." he says.

Josh grins. "Thought you deserved this." and he touches along his stomach, a tease as he slowly brings his hand down to his prick. Tyler doesn't ask what he means by that, he closes his eyes instead. " _Shit_ ,"

And then Josh's mouth is around his cock, his hand warm against his hip and Tyler can't breathe. "J-Josh, oh my _fuck_ , fuck-"

His mouth is hot, tongue pressing, sucking, swirling harshly down his shaft. Josh knows exactly what he's doing, experience obvious by the lack of hesitation. Tyler should hate it, Josh's mouth tight and wet around the head of his cock, he's too fast, too harsh, and Tyler likes things slow, he enjoys the build up to an orgasm when he's with another person. But this is good, Josh makes it good, Tyler nearly doubles over at the feeling of Josh's tongue, Josh's mouth around his cock.

"oh- _ah_ -fuck." Arousal floods down into his gut and he twitches in Josh's mouth when he manages to open his eyes and watch.

Josh's mouth sliding down his cock, he's just taking it, as much as he can. There's nothing poetic about it, there's skill behind what he's doing but all Tyler can focus on is that this is actually happening.

He closes them again when Josh's tongue pokes against his slit and his whole body fucking shakes, his hips jerking intensely.

Josh pulls off, lips wet with saliva and ore-come, eyes dark with arousal, his fingers grasping Tyler's balls, Tyler whines, Josh grins. "You can fuck my face, you want to, I can tell."

"Please." Josh says, noticing Tyler's hesitation, Tyler's worried that Josh is offended but if anything this edges him on more, Josh grips his thighs, nails blunt and begs. "I'll fuck my mouth on your cock otherwise. Ty, please do it, please."

Tyler can't say no, he doesn't want to, he nods, gulps and his fingers curl in Josh's hair, a leading gesture to bring Josh back to where he wants to. " _Yes_." Josh is incredibly eager, as soon as he's close enough his jaw is lax, ready. open, waiting for Tyler.

"Josh, _ah_ , fuck you." He whimpers as he slowly thrusts into his mouth, the heat of Josh's mouth around his cock again. Tyler presses his hips forward, whimpering.

Josh's mouth ready fo him, taking his cock down his throat in an easy slide, Josh gags, Tyler hesitates but Josh's tongue starts swirling and Tyler takes this as go, fuck his mouth, do it, he wants it, he said so, Josh wants him to, Josh begged him to.

He fucks Josh's mouth, all hesitation gone, hands cradling the back of Josh's head as he does so. Tyler is careful, not getting too lost in it, not lost enough to forget that the mouth he's fucking belongs to a person who has boundaries and needs to breathe. His thrusts are shallow, little ministrations and Josh moans around him.

His orgasms hits him when Josh's nose is pressed to his groin, Tyler's hips switch, he gasps and the pleasure and euphoria of his orgasm flows through him, body shaking, thighs trembling. He wasn't meant to last long and there was no way he would. Not with Josh, definitely not with Josh. Josh who's still sucking him through his orgasm, his hand squeezing at the base of his cock.

Josh bobs his head, Tyler cries out. "I-Josh- stop." He's sensitive, it's too much and no matter how he wouldn't mind that this continue forever he'd probably die.

He stops, hands soft and reassuring on Tyler's hips. "Good?"

Tyler, still breathless, breathes out. "Yeah." His legs are weak, he could fall at any second. "What about you?" He breathes out and stares down at him, eyes darting to Josh's crotch. His sweatpants don't hide very much.

"You don't have to." He frowns, lightly pressing his palm to his crotch, merely whimpering. "I'll do it."

Tyler drops to the floor, equal to Josh, same height. His face is freckled, and he holds Josh's shoulders, then his cheeks, his touch just a whisper. "No, could I.... if you want, I want to."

Josh nods. "Touch me."

Touch me, touch me, Tyler is touching him, Josh pushes down his sweats, he isn't wearing briefs either. He's fast, wants to get off, Tyler understands. He doesn't bother with clothes. "Can you like lie down?" He asks, already pushing Josh back, hand to the middle of his chest as Tyler gets in between his legs.

"Yeah, gonna suck me off?" Josh spreads his legs, one knee bent, the other flat to the floor.

Tyler licks his lips and ghosts his breath against the inside of Josh's thighs, kissing the skin. "If that's what you want." He's shy.

Josh's hips twitch upwards, Josh nods, he's looking at Tyler, holding himself up with his arms. "That's what I want."

He gives him what he wants, Tyler obliges easily because he wants to, he wants Josh to continue liking him and kissing him and having sex with him. So he's determined to give him a good orgasm.

His fingers press into the meat of Josh's thighs as he goes down on him, Josh is already close and immediately loses his composure as Tyler swallows around his cock and bobs his head. This position is more vulnerable some how, it feels more intimate and Tyler feels more in charge as he gets Josh off.

Josh reacts to every little thing he does, he gasps when Tyler squeezes his balls with a gentle hand. He whimpers when Tyler focuses on the head of his cock, he whines and arches his back when Tyler takes all of him into his mouth and swirls his tongue. Tyler loves it and within less than 2 minutes Josh comes, eyes squeezed shut, he's trying to close his legs too but Tyler keeps them open, his hands in control of the situation.

Tyler eases him through it and Josh pulls at his hair as Tyler swallows everything Josh gives him.

"I hate that you're so good at that." Josh grunts, sitting up. Tyler isn't sure if he should be offended or not.

He just smiles, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Sorry?" He giggles, his legs feel like jelly as he slowly attempts to stand up only for Josh to gently pull him back down.

"Hey!" He frowns, protesting, he needs to get clean but Josh is pulling him into his lap. "Josh we need to-" Josh kisses him and Tyler's protests die on his lips and he moans into Josh's mouth. Stroking a soft curl of hair and pushing it behind Josh's ear.

The gesture is soft and makes Tyler kiss him harder, pushing into him, chest to chest, Tyler bare in his lap. 

"Are you hungry?" Tyler asks when he pulls away, still breathless, pushing himself off of Josh, still prepared to orgasm once more. He's sure Josh could easily milk another one out of him but he doesn't push. They're both tired, he'd settle for more kissing. "We have a waffle maker, it's kind of shit but........." He tries not to be awkward and begins pulling on his pyjama bottoms.

Josh just smiles and reaches to his feet and pulls up his sweatpants. He’s much more capable then Tyler is post-orgasm "I could go for some waffles."

"Cool, um." Tyler helps him up, hand in Josh's, he'd never noticed how rough his palms were until now. "Follow me."

Not that Josh has a choice not to follow him considering Tyler has a tight grasp on his hand, Josh lets Tyler drag him to the kitchen and Tyler appreciates it.

"Your house is pretty much the same as mine." Josh points out, fingers skimming the walls as they pass down the hallway.

Tyler nods, leading them to the kitchen, passing through the doorway, slowly untangling their fingers from each-other. "Yeah, the layouts are the same. Your interior is a lot nicer though."

Josh snorts. "I try."

There's silence for a moment, Tyler fears that it's awkward but he can't tell. He tells himself it's fine and searches through his cupboards for a bowl and just add waffle mix. He can hear Josh tapping away at the counter.

"Hey um Josh." Tyler says shyly, measuring the water he's going to need for the mix.

"What's up?"

Tyler asks. "Why did you come over here?" And then Josh's silent and Tyler thinks he understands. He won't push for an answer. He doesn't dare look at Josh though, because he's busy, setting the heat on the waffle maker.

He jumps when he hears Josh cough.

"I felt sort of bad about not getting in contact with you." Tyler stares at him, Josh continued. "Also just really wanted to give you oral." Josh shrugs, casual, so fucking casual about sex. Like it's nothing, like it means nothing, Tyler would agree, but he can't, because sex means something to him.

Tyler hums, hiding his insecurity, hiding his nerves as he pours the dry mix into a bowl. "I've never done stuff like this before."

"Sex? are you sure about that?" Josh snorts and sits on Tyler's counter, doesn't even ask and somehow Tyler finds it endearing.

He's blushing, turning away to check the heat of the waffle maker. It's hot. "I'm not a virgin, I mean, casual sex. Ashley doesn't count."

"I can tell." Josh says. "I mean, it's kind of obvious, you're all nervous now."

"Oh, fuck you man." Tyler pours in the water to the mix and whisks it together.

"Do you top?" Tyler turns to face him, mouth open, whisking paused, Josh grins at him. "Or both? I've been with a lot of guys who just don't bottom cause it hurts or like doesn't get them off. Which y'know is fine."

Tyler falters, splutters, his face incredibly red, now this is embarrassing. He coughs. "Um, I, I-ve never bottomed." Tyler cringes when he says it, quickly turning around and mixing faster.

"So you are a virgin."

Tyler frowns and dips a finger in the batter, tasting it before turning to address Josh. "Okay, but like i'm also not because I consider every time someone that's not me gets me off as sex. Because it is."

"Oh yeah, I agree with that. Virginity is dumb and all that shit." Josh hops off the counter and instead opts for leaning against the counter. "but you've never experienced anal penetration, is basically what you mean."

"I-yes, I haven't. Not for lack of trying, i've only been with a few guys. Like, before I dropped out of college I hooked up with a few but they always wanted me to top." He shrugs, vaguely remembering what it was like to be in college and just fuck around the whole time. He had really wasted his parents money at the time, he thought he wanted to be a journalist. Turns out he didn't, he dropped out halfway through his first year.

"Never, fingered yourself?" Josh asks, Tyler stares at the waffle machine and turns it over and then pours the batter for the first waffle in.

He stares at Josh. "It's too early for this, change the topic." He's embarrassed, too embarrassed and he knows he shouldn't be. Josh and him just had sex, talking about it shouldn't be difficult. It usually isn't for him but he can't do it right now

He expects Josh to tease him but Josh seems to understand and says. "Your house smells like pot."

Tyler sniffs the air, he can't tell, which is what happens when you're used to the smell of your own house. "Is that supposed to be surprising?" He asks, sure that he smells like weed half the time anyways.

"Nah, just an observation."

"You smoke don't you?" Tyler asks sheepishly, too scared to look at him, he turn his back to Josh to check on the waffles. The waffle maker beeps.

"Yeah, not cigarettes though. Those are gross, but marijuana helps my anxiety and shit so usually i'll get stoned when I get home from work." It’s contradictory to what he said at dinner when he claimed he didn’t smoke at all but Tyler already knew he’d lied so there was no point in mentioning it.

Tyler nods, setting the first waffle on a plate before pouring in fresh batter. "It's medical then? Prescribed?"

"It's not very hard to get prescribed." Josh admits.

The batter sizzles and Tyler pushes the waffle maker closed, facing Josh once more. It feels domestic to have Josh in his kitchen with him as he makes breakfast and he's not sure if he likes it or not. "Did you just get back?" He wonders if he's been hiding in his house the whole time but by Josh's yawn he doubts it.

Josh shrugs. "Yeah and instead of unpacking I came here."

"What if Ashley had been here?"

"Then I would've asked to speak to you in your room, about something important." Josh says.

"And then?"

"Honestly? I would've thought things through a bit more and asked if I could kiss you and proceeded in the same way." The way he says this is honest and Tyler is blushing, unable to stop himself from doing so.

The next 5 minutes are quiet and Tyler has 3 big fluffy waffles ready for them to share, he give Josh 1 and a half and gives himself the other one and a half to make things fair. He offers him coffee but Josh asks for water instead and Tyler pours himself a glass of water as well.

He thinks about bringing Josh to the dining room but it's too formal, too much, it might be even more awkward and he doesn't want that. So he gathers maple syrup and whipped cream and Josh brings their drinks to the living room, everything being set on the coffee table beside an ash tray.

They most merge towards the couch, Tyler curling into the corner and Josh beside him, Tyler turns towards him though, his feet close to Josh's thigh, his knees near his chest, their being used to balance his plate at the moment.

"You also have a nice view into my living room window." Josh points out, tilting his head towards the window, as though Tyler isn't aware of this.

Tyler's cheeks burn red, he pokes at his waffle. "And you have a nice view into mine." He manages.

Josh hums. "How lucky for both of us, too bad you don't give me much to see."

"Sorry, im not a fucking exhibitionist Josh." Tyler snorts, leaning back against the safety of the couch. Josh is pouring an excessive amount of maple syrup onto his waffle.

"Are we gonna talk about kinks now?" Josh asks, he's staring at him again, his eyes gentle.

Tyler pauses before grinning, he pushes Josh's leg with his foot, playfully. "Not over waffles." He takes a bite of his food. " _Fuck_ , I did good."

"Should I try them?" Josh asks, cutting into his waffle with his fork.

Tyler snorts, already prepared to ask Josh to give him his waffle if he's not going to eat it. "Don't be fucking dumb."

Suddenly Josh’s phone goes off, an alarm sounding from it. “Shit, I have work." Josh groans, slipping his eyes shut. He looks at Tyler, an apology on his tongue, it’s clear in his eyes. “I’m sorry but i’ve really got to go.”

Tyler nods, he gets it. “Finish eating before you go at-least."

Josh takes a big bite of his waffle, chews with his mouth closed, Tyler was expecting him to be impolite for some reason. He speaks when he swallows. "Come over tomorrow or something, we can hang out yeah?"

"Day off?" Tyler takes a sip of water, his mind thinking of all the things they’d have time to do if he went over, alone. He could even sleep over even, he doesn’t ponder on the thought for long.

Josh gets up, he’s still shirtless but he doesn’t seem to even bothering looking for his shirt. “No, i'm off at 4 though. So anytime after then is good."

“Okay.” Tyler nods, wiping his mouth off, maple syrup sticky to the corners of his lips. He gulps, nervous to even say this. But he smiles and says “I’ll be there.”

Josh grins.

And within a few minutes Josh finishes eating, kisses Tyler on the cheek and leaves.

*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really out here with decently long chapters huh? i hope this is good?? the whole time i wrote the smut i for some reason thought it was cute lmao. i’m a mess


	6. Chapter 6

 

Ashley is in his bed when he wakes up, her face is tucked away into his neck and the rest of her is wrapped around him in a tight squeeze. As her best friend, he indulges her and leans into her hold, firstly to get comfortable and secondly to get warm. It's freezing in his room, two fans spin around him, both faced towards his bed.

 

This isn't the first time he's woken up to her in bed with him and it's probably not the last either. Every few days she'll climb in with him, they've talked about it a few times and mutually agreed that bed sharing was okay when they needed it. As long as they never went to bed with the mindset of falling asleep together.

 

He's always asleep before her anyways, and always home before her. And Ashley's shifts run late and start late and even though she’s normally done between 9-10PM, she likes to go out afterwards, so she's rarely there, they're practically on opposite schedules. It works though, it always has. Tyler likes it this way and he's learned to enjoy Ashley crawling into his bed late at night. She gets scared, she gets nightmares and Tyler knows he makes her feel safe, there's no way he could ever tell her not to get into bed with him. He's used to it now and he knows she only sleeps with him when she needs to.

 

When Ashley yawns into his neck, Tyler yawns too and when she shifts, so does he. Yesterday's makeup is still on, mascara around her eyes, foundation sparse. She must've came straight into his room and passed out if she hadn’t even washed her face.

 

Tyler touches her shoulder. "Are you okay?" He rasps, voice still fuddled with sleep. Ashley shrugs against him and Tyler lets his hand rub up and down her arm. It's meant to comfort and by the way she leans into the touch he knows it's working. “Did something happen?” Maybe it’s not the right thing to ask but he worries about her.

 

It’s not much of an answer but she nods her head against his chest and squeezes her arms around him.

 

 

"Your ex?" Tyler asks gently. Because it makes sense, her ex harassing her. He never leaves her alone, he's always been too obsessive.

 

Ashley grips his arm, fingers curling into his skin as she shakes her head. "No. Just-I went out last night."

 

"Where?"

 

"Bar, downtown" She tells him, voice wavering. She's nervous to talk and Tyler doesn't like wherethis is heading. Early morning conversations with her never end where they start.

 

"And?"

 

"I saw Josh."

 

Tyler looks away. "And?"

 

Ashley rolls out of his arms, on her back, eyes on the ceiling. "He was with someone."

 

Tyler turns to her. "Okay." He leans his head on her shoulder. "We're not exclusive. It's not like that." Josh is just their neighbour who he's been having sex with, they haven't made any arrangements to be more. They haven't talked about being more. It's not his business to know everything he does. "What was he doing?" Is a question he asks anyways, because yeah, maybe he is a little interested in knowing what Josh gets up to.

 

Ashley just shakes her head and takes a deep breath. "It doesn't matter, y'know since you're not exclusive." Ashley smiles a little bit, clearly revenge for the lack of information he's given her about Josh, Tyler rolls his eyes.

 

And then Ashley sighs, a change of subject. "I met a girl while I was there." He expects her to smile again, Ashley doesn't, she looks away from him.

 

"Oh." Tyler picks at his lips, a distraction. "Anything happen?"

 

Ashley nods, her eyes shine with the distinct build up to tears. "I went to her place and we kissed and she went to touch me and I started crying."

 

"Ashley." He looks at her properly. Her eyes are teary.

 

"Don't know why," She runs a hand over his shaved head and falters when she remembers there's nothing there. "I don't panic when i'm with guys. Why should I get scared with girls?"

 

"Did she still touch you?" Is Tyler's biggest question.

 

Ashley's quiet. "No. She held me while I cried."

 

"Do you want to talk to me about it?" He asks, tone soft and quiet, he hopes it's comforting. He hopes he's comforting. He loves Ashley and he wants to be able to help her however he can.

 

"We've talked about it Tyler, you know everything about me, all of my trauma." She tells him. "And i’m not trying to be a bitch, just, we've had this conversation a million times."

 

He nods, she's not wrong. "We could put a little bit of money aside," He suggests, his hand reaches for hers, their fingers intertwine. "Get you in with a professional or maybe you could go back to group, it helped last time."

 

"Um," Ashley shuts her eyes before hesitantly nodding. "Actually maybe I should, go back to group just not the same one as last time y'know?" She's scared, has been for a long time but Tyler will always support her. “I liked it a lot, It scares me less then talking to someone one on one.”

 

"We'll figure it out," He murmurs, conversation heavy in the air. He starts to sit up, ready to get out of bed. "I'll help you as much as I can, i’ll even drive you over.”

 

She flicks his shoulder. “You're such a good guy." Ashley grins at him, following his lead and sits up a little, leaning against the wood of his headboard.

 

"If you say so." Tyler slowly gets up, pulling some of the covers with them as he scoots over to the end of his bed and steps down to stand, he expects Ashley to follow but instead she just looks at him as he changes his current sweater out for a new one. He peels off the one he slept in and grabs a different sweater off the floor and slides it down over his bare chest. "What?" He asks, turning to face her.

 

"Josh is lucky to have you."

 

Tyler rolls his eyes, his cheeks flush pink. "He isn't my boyfriend."

 

"Not yet." Ashley laughs and pulls the covers around her.

 

"Not ever."

 

"Sure." Ashley smiles again. "If that's what you want to tell yourself."

 

 

 

 

*

 

The third time Tyler gets on his knees for Josh is later that night, he leaves Ashley in bed with a kiss to her cheek and when she demands to know what's going on. Tyler says nothing.

 

It happens fast just like last time, except time doesn't seem to move when he's with Josh anymore. There's always a pause when they're together, time seems to stop for them and then when they're done, it's like it never happened even though the memory is burned into his mind.

 

It's not supposed to go this way, Tyler's not expecting it to go this way but when he knocks on Josh's door and Josh lets him inside, Tyler falls to his knees within minutes of their friendly conversation. A quiet thump is the only noise to be made.

 

It makes sense in the moment for him to greet Josh like this, Josh did it to him, and when Josh's face goes through a slew of shock, confusion and then something else that Tyler doesn't understand, Tyler knows he's done something right. He thinks he's done something right.

 

Josh blinks, eyes tired. "Wait," He groans, pressing a hand to Tyler's head, curling his fingers in the hair at his crown and pushing him away. Tyler's flushed, embarrassed, mixed signals flash in his head, he's too impulsive for this, for relationships, mistakes are easy to make. He waits. "Want to eat first?" Tyler asks quietly, nervous, looking up at Josh with red cheeks.

 

"No." Josh grips his hair tighter and then releases with a huff, Tyler's scalp pulses. "I want-" He doesn't finish his thought, he looks down at Tyler through dark eyelashes instead and there's something about the bags under his eyes and the sickliness to his skin that makes Tyler feel uneasy. He ignores it.

 

"What do you want?" Tyler touches his thighs, firm and muscular under his fingers, he squeezes. "We can stop Josh, we don't have to do anything." He assures him, they don't need to, Tyler just wants to do something nice for him. He wants to do this for him because he can't stop thinking about it. "I-"

 

"No, uh-sorry. Sorry." Josh shuts his eyes for a moment, to refocus, to re-rebalance. "Had a long day, i'm a little out of it." His voice wavers.

 

"Josh." Tyler strokes up to his hips, . "Maybe we should just eat first, this can wait. I shouldn't have assumed you'd want to-"

 

Josh interrupts. "Please, I want it."

 

"You're sure?" Tyler raises an eyebrow.

 

He doesn't look sure. "Yes."

 

Tyler reaches to hold his hand, he squeezes and then presses a kiss to his palm. "Say it again."

 

Josh does.

 

"Okay." Tyler kisses his palm one last time.

 

He's doing something right.

 

Josh isn't hard when Tyler tentatively shoves his jeans down to his ankles and he's barely half way when Tyler wraps a delicate hand around him and starts to slowly jerk him off, his grip tight right underneath the head. Tyler mouths at his hip as he does this, his lips rough, greedy, he wants Josh to be his. So he bites, nibbles, and then kisses the same spot over and over until the skin there is red and wet.

 

Tyler expects judgement when he looks up with spit shining on his lips, there's no judgement though, Josh is into it, it's hot, his head is thrown back against the wall, he's groaning, he wants more. "Yeah, you're good. You're good." And he's panting and Tyler's pressing wet kisses against thighs and hips and pubic hair with the tiniest of smiles because having the power to make someone feel good makes him feel good. Josh deserves to feel good.

 

Josh feels good and he gasps a quiet. "Shit." When Tyler darts his tongue out and licks and sucks and makes his shaft wet with saliva. His cock glistens and Tyler wastes no time with anything. There shouldn't be a rush but there's excitement and anticipation and he wants Josh to come in his mouth.

 

He's doing something right.

 

And with a hands to Josh's hips and nails digging into the bones, he's still doing something right when he's swallowing down around Josh's slick cock in one smooth easy movement and burying his nose in pubic hair. Josh gasps and his hips twitch the moment Tyler does this. Normally Tyler would build up to it, a slow burn, kisses and broad licks up his shaft, a slow hand at his balls, but today he's changed the pace, his nails dig into skin and his jaw slackens just enough for Josh to properly grind down into his mouth, it's like Josh knows exactly what he wants without Tyler having to spell it out for him. Josh doesn't do it at first though, and when he does it's tentative and Tyler hums around him as encouragement.

 

The encouragent works, Josh thrusts abruptly and Tyler gags, there's spit on his chin and above his lips and pre-cum painting down his throat. Josh compliments him for it, the word pretty is whispered among other things and Tyler eats it up and Josh fucks his mouth.

 

It's not glamorous or slow by any means, Tyler struggles to breathe for a majority of it. He has to hide his teeth, keep his jaw slack and move his tongue all at the same time, but he likes it. And Josh won't even look at him, his head is tilted up towards the ceiling and the death grip he has on Tyler's hair isn't nice, it's rough and if he pulls any harder loose hair may follow.

 

Tears gather at his the ducts of his eyes and fall freely down his cheeks, warm and salty. He's not crying though, but somethings triggered his tears and his cheeks are wet and it's okay, he's okay. He's okay.

 

Tyler is okay, Tyler likes this, he loves it. Maybe Josh loves it too, his hips move on their own accord at this point, crave something of their own, Josh is not as controlled as he was last time they did this and the slowness from before is no longer there and is instead replaced with a want, and a determination to get off as fast as possible.

 

Tyler just sits back and takes as much as Josh gives. He wants whatever Josh will grant him with.

 

When the cock rocking into his mouth pulses, and hips stutter and the thrusts become less erratic, Tyler sucks and takes over. Hand open on Josh's stomach, mouth a hot suction around Josh's cock.

 

It's quick and messy when Josh orgasms, he moans, long and drawn and he breathes out a gentle little. "Tyler." and his thighs tremble, his back arches and his semen coats the inside of Tyler's mouth like it belongs there, Tyler has no complaints. He smacks his lips together and swallows without a second thought and then sucks Josh down again.

 

This is unexpected.

 

"Jesus christ." His knees buck and he whines and pulls on Tyler's hair so hard Tyler wants to cry. He doesn't cry again, he licks up his cock very gently until Josh is quietly whimpering into his hand. Tyler pulls off when Josh's dick starts to soften in his mouth, saliva clings as he moves away.

 

Their both panting, Tyler reaches down to palm at his dick and when he looks up at Josh and expecting pink cheeks and a post-orgasm smile. Tyler feels like he might throw up. Josh has both of his hands over his face and he's shaking even if it's hard to notice, Tyler notices. He wants to throw up. Sick, the sickness he feels pulses in his veins, it burns.

 

"Josh." He rasps, he whispers, careful and tentative. He doesn't want to scare him. "Josh." He says again. No response.

 

Josh sniffs and he suddenly looks a lot smaller, vulnerable. "One sec."

 

Was that consensual? Fuck, Josh said yes, he said it twice. It was consensual. Tyler's sure but either way his throat seems to close up and his mouth dries as he waits for Josh to tell him what's going on. He needs Josh to say something. He says his name again, he can't get up. "Josh?"

 

Nothing. Tyler shuts his eyes and holds onto Josh to steady himself. He sinks down, sitting on his calves and pressing his forehead to one of Josh's thighs as he waits for him to say something. The silence is killer.

 

"Glad you're here." Josh says eventually, it's quiet. He slowly brings his hands away from his face, Tyler looks up and expects tears, there aren't any.

 

All of his weight is against the wall he's leaning on, unsurprisingly his cheeks are blotchy and pink and his chest is still heaving. He's everything Tyler wants, he looks fine. Josh is ok.

 

He needs to be okay for Tyler to be okay.

Relief buzzes underneath his skin when Josh looks at him with sincerity. It's what he needs.

 

Tyler's knee's ache when he finally shifts, a sharp pain at his joints. He needs to be more careful. "Me too." He wipes his mouth and collects the messy amount of pre-come, semen and spit that's accumulated and wipes it off on his clothes. Another consequence is the throb of his throat and the soreness of his jaw. "What now?"

 

"I think you should," He pauses and rubs his eyes, he's shaking, he hesitates once more. "G-Come eat,"

 

"Are you okay?" Tyler asks, he wants to believe that Josh is fine. "Was that too much?"

 

"No." Josh shakes his head. He helps Tyler to his feet, an arm wrapping around him and pulling him up. "Like I said, long day."

 

They walk to the kitchen together and it's quiet. Tyler holds onto Josh out of guilt that he's done something wrong, either way they're both wrapped around eachother, hip to hip, arm to arm, it's supposed to feel safe, Tyler feels safe. Josh tells him he feels safe too. But if that were true Tyler wouldn't be asking himself why is Josh still shaking if he's okay? And why is he trembling minutes after orgasm. Tyler doesn't understand and he accepts that he won't.

 

Josh pulls out plates and cleans up counter space while Tyler leans against the counter and replays that memory in his head. Josh said yes, Josh said it twice and he never asked for him to stop and-

 

"Are you still hard?" Josh is sliding on oven mitts when he asks this.

 

Tyler blinks, pulled out of his head at the words. And then he gulps before his cheeks go pink. "No." He'd went soft after Josh had panicked. It was inevitable, he's sure if Josh tried hard enough he could get it up again. Tyler doesn't want to, he knows Josh is in a bad headspace and he knows that what they just did, there was something wrong about it.  He feels physically sick, bile rising whenever he thinks back to what they'd just done.

 

"I-" Josh starts, Tyler stares at his back, his shoulders tense and his muscles shift under his shirt, he drops his shoulders. "Sorry."

 

Sorry, sorry, sorry. "Why?"

 

"Don't know." He leans down and opens the oven, pulling out a pan, steam rises to the ceiling. "It doesn't matter." It's not honest but Tyler won't push him to tell him more. Maybe he should but he's scared to get more intimate than they already are, he doesn't want to get attached when he knows Josh probably won't want to be monogamous.

 

Silence eats the air and Tyler ends up sitting on the counter while Josh plates their food. There's something profound, deep inside him that's bothering both him and Josh at the same time but he doesn't know what it is.

 

They eventually move to the living room. Josh tells him that's where they're eating so that's where they go.

 

The curtains are open and light shines in and illuminates the entire room. Tyler imagines that its dark instead. It feels dark, it should be night, it feels like it should be night. They sit on the couch together, there's no question as to why, they're close so close, thigh to thigh, their feet touch. This is different then every other time they've been with eachother.

 

Tyler's hand shakes as he cuts into his lasagna. "Did I do something wrong?" He asks finally, glancing at Josh nervously. "Because you need to tell me if I did, I can do casual sex Josh but if you're going to react like-like, you did, I don't think I can." He stops there, the words rushing out of his mouth in waves. He wants to talk about consent and how Josh needs to tell him things but he can't bring himself to do it. Especially when Josh is looking at him like he is now.

 

A frown, a little bit of surprise and Josh is just staring at him, analyzing him maybe? Tyler doesn't care, he just wants them to be on the same page. He needs them to be on the same page. Josh's fork scrapes against his plate, a small smile is his lips when he answers. "No, you're fine, i'm just being stupid today. It's okay, don't worry. Trust me."

 

Trust him.

 

Tyler wants to. So he nods. "Okay.”

 

There's more to talk about but Tyler can't get the words out. So instead he smiles back at Josh and scoots closer.

 

"Ashley said she saw you last night." Tyler twirls his fork in his food, deciding to change the topic. "At a bar." He clarifies.

 

"I was working." Josh says easily and takes a bite of lasagna. "Didn't see her though." It's dismissive and Tyler doesn't know if it really means anything or if Josh is just lying. Tyler would never know either way. They barely know each-other and Tyler's gullible, his trust is too easily earned, especially when he wants to trust someone, that person currently being Josh.

 

They talk quietly after that, words flow freely despite how tense the atmosphere between them feels. But then Tyler asks him about work and Josh tells him about the types of drunks he encounters and the mood lifts dramatically. It's an easy subject to talk about and Josh has so much to say that by the time he's out of funny stories about customers and the way they think they can get away with anything, they're done eating and they're both smiling.

 

Josh's hand is also on his knee by the time they're done eating, and it's been slowly moving up, up, up and squeezing and touching and he's so careful with the way he's stroking up his leg, so gentle in his seduction that Tyler had barely noticed while they'd been laughing. Tyler's eyes widen when he notices. His hand goes on top of Josh's. "Josh." He says, fingers  curling around fingers. "I—you don't like owe me anything man. You don't need to reciprocate."

 

Still, Josh's hand moves up again, prods at his crotch, presses down, Tyler squirms. "Shit." He shouldn't, he really shouldn't let Josh go through with this.

 

Josh's fingers ghost over his lower stomach. "Do you mind if I," He makes a hand motion with his free hand, Tyler blushes.

 

His immediate in head response is no, he should say no. Morally he knows that Josh probably isn't in a good head space to be doing this. But the way Josh looks at him, it's so sincere and soft and Tyler caves and he caves hard. "I- _Okay_ , yeah." Tyler relaxes a little bit, leaning into the couch, spreading his legs. "If you want to." He murmurs. Ready to give Josh the chance to back out, ready to tell him he doesn't need to. Josh wouldn't do this if he didn't want to.

 

"I want to." Josh tells him and then moves to sit in his lap.

 

Tyler doesn't last very long, mostly because he isn't trying to and mostly because Josh is really good with his hands.

 

*

 

When he gets home, his bed is empty. Ashley isn’t even home and it worries him. It’s not particularly late but still, he likes knowing when she’s safe.

 

She’s off of his mind the moment he gets in bed though. Josh takes her place.

 

Josh is everywhere and Josh is confusing and Tyler barely knows how to act around him or what to say or do. He doesn’t understand what Josh wants.

 

Tyler especially doesn’t understand what he wants himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRENCH IS OUT. this fic has absolutely no connection to anything dema related but it’s ok.

**Author's Note:**

> I am hyped about this one. Also happy holidays!! Merry Christmas!!


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